Darkside Strength, The Story.

Darkside Strength, The Story.

By: Brian Gallagher

 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, I have lived through this horror, I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosavelt

Good Evening, My name is Brian Gallagher, High School Football coach, Father, Gym owner, Mentor, and Friend, Where did Darkside Strength Start? As the saying goes, where better to start than the beginning, bringing to light how Darkside Strength aims to educate youth in society with issues such as mental health, motivation, injury prevention and more through Strength and Conditioning. The story I tell I hope gives insight into how we conduct ourselves in interaction with youth, programs or activities youth participate in, and how we can mold individuals into the best versions of themselves through compassion, firmness, and fairness.

               Born in Beloit, Wisconsin on August 11^th 1992 I started life a little differently than most individuals, at least that I know. My biological mother was a 14-year-old girl named Anna Eddy. She placed me for adoption, which was a tough decision for her, to two amazing parents who I have strived to make proud of every day. And despite all of their efforts, I am still a Bears fan. Sorry mom and dad.  My father, David Gallagher, a maintenance man at Eggers industries for 44 years, originally from Hawaii, and my mother, Sarah Gallagher, senior center supervisor and small business owner, along with various other positions held for the city before my time.

               For anyone who knows my parents there is one thing that I think best describes them. Hardworking. David and Sarah pushed me to be the best version of myself every day, and my choice of hard work growing up was sports. My parents never played athletics in their childhood, my mother has some severe medical issues, and my father, although being 6 foot 4, was not allowed to play sports growing up as he was made to work from the age of 13. My parents wanted me to follow my passion, so if there was a sport I did it. Baseball, basketball, track, soccer, tennis, golf, weightlifting, and my true passion is football.

Now not having athletic parents, they connected  me with wonderful mentors in terms of sports. My earliest mentor was Phil Franko. Phil was a teacher at TRHS, former professional baseball player for the Minnesota Twins, and lucky enough for me, my neighbor. His sons and I grew up together and created a competitive bond between the 4 of us. We would be seen late into the night playing basketball in the Old Grace Church parking lot with the likes of David Meissner, Angie Gates, Brent Luebke, Julian, Jace, Jalen Franko, and many others. Phil was my first organized sports coach coaching basketball travel teams in 4^th and 5^th grade. We didn’t win a single game in those two years, but every day we got better. The first thing Phil taught me was to put the team before yourself, the object of winning the game is more important than your individual success. The first lesson of this speech is to belong to something bigger than yourself, hence at the time, our Jr. Raiders Basketball team.

As time went on basketball became an obsession, that is until 6^th grade when I signed up for football with the local Ramblers (currently Jr. Raider Football) football team. Being a short chunky kid, I had the dream of carrying the ball like my favorite running back of my childhood, Emmet Smith. Well, that dream got crushed instantly as they put me at offensive guard and defensive end. As the year went on, I told myself that I would never play offensive line again, I didn’t want to be considered the fat kid who couldn’t move so they stuck him at the line.

 That offseason my dad (the thrift shopper he is always looking for a deal or to save money) found a weight bench and squat rack on the side of the road for free, his favorite price. This was my first introduction to weightlifting. Three days a week we would spend time in the basement on 26^th street, and bench press, triceps extensions, squat, barbell row. Dad would spot me and we bonded over this together. Next, we would go outside and throw the football around for hours until his arm couldn’t pass the ball anymore. Dad taught me my first instinct of never giving up. (trust me this story isn’t all sunshine and rainbows).

7th grade came, and I grew from a 5-5 chunky kid to a 5-10 slim kid who could run all day. Track helped me gain a mile time of 5:05 qualifying for nationals in the Hershey track meet, even though to this day I will claim I am not a runner and hated every second of long-distance running. The football season came, and I was moved from guard to fullback and defensive end. Our first game was against Kimberly, and I was excited. My Dad made a deal with me, every sack I got he would give me 10 dollars. He owed me big time after our Kimberly game. I had 5 sacks and we beat the number 1 team in our league at the time under Travis Glandt, Dennis Kozlowski, and Tim Wegner. Football seemed to be going very well.

Then my first hard-nosed, stubborn, his way or the highway coach came into my life. A man who pushed me and our basketball team so hard we thought we were going to die in practice, but a man I grew to love, a man who would give you everything from dinner, team bonding trips, film study, stats, schoolwork help, college help (as we grew up). Randy Fredrickson took over basketball for our grade and coached my grade for the next 6 years. 7^th grade season Randy took a team that never won a game, to an undefeated regular season record and a .500 tournament record with our first, second place, trophy we ever achieved at the Valders invite. This man taught me self-control, emotional control, scheme, concept, study habits, belief, love, and compassion. He also was the hardest individual to get along with, if you didn’t give him your all he would be sure to tell you that. Randy pushed you to the potential he saw in you, not the potential you saw in yourself and limited yourself to. He held everyone to such a high standard, it forced us whether we were friends or not, to get along, work as one, and bond with each other on the court as well as outside of sports. Randy Fredrickson is the best coach I ever had.

Now as I continued to grow and get bigger, the 8th grade sports season came and went and it was time to get ready for high school. I moved to Quarterback for football and Defensive end. As 9^th grade came, I was moved to varsity and jv football. I had a very good Freshman year which got me to start my sophomore year of football. I went to camps in Waukesha and Whitewater, and felt ready for the first game.

In my first varsity start I had 2 sacks and 12 tackles, not bad for a sophmore. The season continued to go well, achieving a few passing receptions at TE, a position I never played but developed into a semi above average player. As the season wound down, we were looking for our first win in the school’s 6 year history. We played Campbellsport and it was the last game of the season. This game is where my life took a turn. 

Right before halftime I got clipped by a pulling guard and hit my head into my defensive lineman's leg. This caused me to chip my C7 vertebrae rendering me unable to move my legs on the field. I was scared, freezing cold, and just laid there in the dirt for what seemed like eternity. Kraig Shillcox, my quarterback and teammate, held my hand as my dad ran out on the field. Dr. Smith boarded me up and Zak Peterson and Patrick Krajnik were the paramedics who hauled me to the hospital. My girlfriend left her job at Phil Rohrer’s and met my parents in the emergency room. 5 hours later, crutches and a neck brace I walked out of the hospital with the help of my dad and Hailey. Our team did get its first win in 6 years and I was happy for them but didn’t know how this injury was going to impact me.

I decided not to quit football as I wanted to play college football at Notre Dame (yes, I dream big and tell all my athletes to dream big.) I hit the weights hard and continued to work towards my junior year. Junior year started and I moved to Linebacker. This year was an amazing year for me. In the first 5 games I had 57 tackles, single game tackle record of 25 tackles against Waupun and started getting some looks from colleges. The last 4 games things turned. I got 2 concussions, a total of 3 for my high school career which rendered me ineligible per WIAA rules to continue to play sports.

Track, Basketball, Football, all gone, nothing. My identity was shattered, my entire life seemed like a waste. What am I going to do now? I was a mediocre 3.0 student who loved to play sports. I fell into a deep depression, drinking, smoking, and frankly being not so nice to many people around me. I’d let things get to me like comments of being adopted, or banter from friends would flip my trigger and fights started happening. Inside I knew this wasn’t who I was, but I was hurting and didn’t know who to talk to. 17-year-old kids don’t like to talk to their parents. Mine were trying, but I had no desire to talk to them. That is when I stumbled upon the greatest mentor I have ever met.

The late Joel Sonnenburg. Joel was a Korean war veteran and employee of TRHS as a lunch supervisor. Frankly he was an old man who helped kids. He mentored 14 kids in the challenge academy to get their high school diploma, volunteered at church, Thanksgiving meal serving, school functions, you name it he did it. I looked to Joel when I had bad days. We would sit on his couch and talk for hours about every topic under the sun. If any of you knew who Joel was, you know exactly what I am talking about. And the desserts this man would make. No matter what he had going on, he always made time to have some kind of fresh dessert and coffee ready for anyone that needed to talk at any time. He made you feel comfortable in his home whether he had known you for years, or you are just coming in for the first time. He truly is someone that left a lasting impression on so many people’s lives.

Now me being an individual who likes challenges, Joel and I started talking about what to do post high school now that I had accepted the fact that sports was not in the cards, which let me tell you was no easy task. By this time, I stopped drinking and was trying to get out of this hole I was in mentally. Joel said, “Well if college isn’t something you want to do right now, that is ok but consider the military.” That is literally all I needed to hear. Having a family of many veterans, the military was always an option, it just never was the first option. Now it was, and without talking to my parents (sorry mom) I signed up for the United States Marine Corps. Ironically, I did that the day my mom got her hip replaced, needless to say she was less than pleased. (Shortly after enlisting, I continued surprising my parents by getting engaged, married, and telling them they were going to be grandparents all within 3 months before I left for basic training)

I left for basic training Jan 1^st 2012. Gives the ultimate definition to the saying “new year, new me. The military came and boot camp came. A grinding 13 weeks of mentally tough challenges that made you numb to society. If any of you have been through basic training or have a family member who has, you know it’s a series of learning to eat fast and fall asleep faster. Quickly scripted phone calls, and then just breaking you down to nothing to build you back up into the person they want you to be. This sent me, my wife and child to 29 palms California. The hottest place on earth I have ever been to. Scorching heat of 125 degrees every day, training in the hot sun for weeks on end. (But when people say “it’s a dry heat” it really is and it really makes a difference, don’t get me wrong, it's still miserably hot. But luckily it's not humid, that’ll get you for sure.) From the screaming, the training, the long miserable hours, it was a lot on the body and mind. A shining point came when my daughter Kiara was born.

My daughter was born 12/28/2012, and this was the hardest thing I ever endured. To the naked eye she was perfect, 8lbs 6oz. Immediately after she was born, she was taken by ambulance from Holy Family hospital to St. Vincents in Green Bay where she was admitted into the NICU. During her time from December to February at the NICU, Kiara experienced many apnea events as well as seizures. Shortly after arriving at Children’s Hospital, which let me tell you the staff there is absolutely amazing and we still have contact with some of the nurses to this day, Kiara was diagnosed with Polymicrogyria. Which means she had a smooth brain causing her to seize doing the most minor things we take for granted every day, like breathing and blinking at the same time.

During this time we lived in the Ronald McDonald house for 2 months. I missed my first deployment to Afghanistan because of her condition as well. After many meetings with her doctors, on Feb. 28, 2012 we made a decision that two twenty something year olds should never have to make. We made the decision to keep her comfortable and allow her to pass. On March 7th, 2013 our daughter passed away and my life as I knew it was changed. I was 20 years old; my wife was 22. I was angry at the world; I hated everything internally. But I knew we still had an 18-month-old son at home that we needed to take care of and be there for, and that had no idea what just happened. The USMC gave us 2 weeks to have a funeral and report back to California. We drove across the country in 4 days with my son Brycyn in the car.

When we got back it was a mess, they didn’t have a house for us to live in so we stayed in a motel 6 for 30 days. As soon as we got a house on base, they decided I needed to get into a deployment work up and train. I trained for 6 months and was deployed to  Yemen in defense of the Yemen Civil war (on Mother’s Day 2013). To my surprise, later to find out my wife and I were again expecting our now beautiful, spunky, hardheaded daughter Allison. There was minimal time to grieve the loss of my daughter, so, just as many of us do, bury it inside and move on with life which, looking back, is not the healthiest thing to do.

When I got back from deployment in October of 2014 things changed, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I drank to sleep, I drank to forget, I yelled, I got angry, I didn’t show compassion as my mentors and coaches before me did. And even though I knew I should have; I didn’t initially seek the help that was offered.  Memorial Day weekend, my wife, children, and my wife’s grandfather drove from California back to Wisconsin.  After returning to Wisconsin, reintegrating back into “normal” life was more difficult than they ever explained to you it would be. I tried to commit suicide twice in the next 6-7 years post military.

Then I got a call from Marcos Alfaro, formerly a coach for TRHS, and current coach of the Manitowoc Mariners.

Marcos said he needed help coaching football and he wanted me to get involved in the community. He said, “come to one practice, change these kids’ lives, and maybe find who you are again”. Reluctantly I said OK, and I LOVED IT.

I went to that one practice, and I stayed coaching for 11 years to the current date. With the mindset and philosophy that I don’t want any child to feel what I have felt in my life. From not fitting in with friends, to deployment, depression, not expressing emotions, no child should feel this way. I took this coaching position and ran with it. See coaching football is easy, its scheme, concepts, positioning, leverage, what is hard is attitude. Coaches tend to scream and yell 24/7, but do they know what each kid is going through in their personal lives. Kids who cant do their homework at night because they have to go work at a bar, or kids who sit at the practice field doing homework because they don’t want to go home. These are the youth that we need to keep engaged in community events.

I have since enrolled in school and am on track to receive my bachelors degree. I started competing in USS Strongman competitions, winning a state meet, taking second in a state meet, and going to Dallas for Nationals in 2023. This is what led me to owning a gym and working with athletes.

 Many athletes in this area do not have proper coaching in terms of weight training for their sport. What I mean by that is many of these high school programs are cookie cutter programs. Athletes need to be pushed, they need to fail, and I know that sounds weird, why would I push a person or athlete to fail. You learn so much more from failure than success. Failure will frustrate an athlete, failure is not an option for most. So if you hear a weightlifter say rep to failure, they want to push their body to absolute exhaustion, so they know what to strive for after that. They need to fail, so they learn how to recover from it. They need to have a strength coach that will do anything for them.

 I applied for the TRHS weightroom job when Mike DeRoehn left for Lakeland college and unfortunately did not get the position due to unknown reasons.

I thought to myself, I can do better than what is offered in school in terms of weightroom education. So, I opened up Darkside Strength with by business partner Louis Kumbalek. Darkside Strength is named after my USMC callsign 3^rd Battalion 4^th Marine Regiment code named “Darkside”. It has been a joy running this gym, we have 52 gym members, 1 professional athlete, and 30 student athletes we work with. I also run the TRHS Football weightlifting program along with coaching offensive line and linebackers for the Raiders. We are currently expanding the gym to a bigger facility which will be completed by July, allowing us to work with more athletes and clients.

I never turn a student athlete or client away. As a coach we need to understand these are kids, they have lives outside of sports, and the training is for them not for our own coaching record. Put kids first, teach them to handle adversity instead of just saying “overcome adversity”. We were all new once, we were all kids once, we were all misguided youth who probably made many mistakes that our parents never knew about.  And If you didn’t know there is a 10 year rule. If you tell your parents something you did and it is outside of 10 years they can’t be mad anymore at least that’s what I told Sarah. 

How much better would our community be if we gave kids a place to work out, unleash some frustration, get better in terms of sport, and have them be themselves for just an hour. Drive youth to be great, the youth of our day will change our future world.  Be a Joel Sonnenburg, be there for each athlete you instruct. Whether it's after school, or 2am and they are having a hard time, just be present.

Being in the Darkest moments of my life, I relied on football and my friendship with my current business partner Louis Kumbalek to get me through. Louis listened without judgement, picked me up when I was down, kept me busy and occupied with his endless shenanigans, and accepted me into his family routine. As a kid who never fit in, I realized it just took me 30 years to find a friend who would be there. Whether mad or upset with me, he’s always there. To teach, instruct, cause a ruckus, or coach youth, everyone needs a friend like Louis.

Life can be confusing, unexpected, unplanned, and hurtful. But life can also be wonderful, full of love, kindness, compassion, and joy.  What we cannot do is give up, throw in the towel, or call it a day when things get hard. We as adults are entrusted with the gift of raising our youth in the community. My goal is every individual whose life that I interact with is empowered and inspired to continue to push through the hard things. Ask for help when help is needed, learn about yourself mentally, and push on. When life gets hard, embrace the hard times. When we learn to push through adversity, we grow both with ourselves and with others. I would not be here today if I didn't have Phil Franko teaching me to put others before myself, Randy Fredrickson holding me accountable for my work ethic, my parents, who chose to be my parents even when they didn’t have to. Find your tribe to support you, find your purpose in life, and never give up. Live up to the potential others see in you. Strength is never a weakness, and weakness is never a strength. From a kid who grew up with passion, overcame adversity, and just wants to give back to the community, Go out into the world, help others become successful and success will find you.